Feeling Stuck on Resolutions, Therapist Explains why January is Hard

Thank you to Walt Gray on ABC 10 for having me on to discuss burn out on New Years Resolutions.

New Year new me, mindset that encourages people to believe they should dramatically reinvent themselves overnight. Either physically, emotionally, financially, and professionally within the course of January, right off of the holiday season. People have reduced emotional capacity to make it to the finish line by the end of the month. This can be seen as laziness, when in reality one can be suffering from hormone changes, stress level increase, disrupted sleep, seasonal mood changes and financial strain, and overall social exhaustion. This makes it hard to complete high pressure goals that you make for yourself.

So, what should people be doing in order to make a shift? You should be changing into capacity-based goals. You should be asking, what can my system realistically handle at this time? What goals can you work on monthly that support you and that build your compassion for self, decreasing self-criticism, reducing your stress levels, increasing your sleep, nutrition, movement, that feel safe. Goals that build predictable routines in your day-to-day life is what you should be focused on at this time.

So, a lot of people are like, well, what are some ways that you can avoid this burnout? You should ask for help especially if your goals are tied to your mental health concerns. If stress, anxiety, or make it difficult to change, you should be seeking accountability, working with a professional for guidance, to help you on building more realistic goals. Also understanding that motivation comes and goes, and so not beating oneself up over this is a key piece.

Perfectionism gets in the way and can trigger individuals to give up completely. Instead of, I failed my resolution, you can say, I am learning what kind of support I need. Focus on building habits. When you focus on building habits into your existing routines, change becomes more realistic and doable. And redefining your goals. They should match your current energy level. They should consider your current health, both mental and physical and overall responsibilities you have. And it is okay to adjust those as things change. And then practice self-compassion, burnout, shame and guilt do not necessarily lead to long-term change, right? So being able to be compassionate with yourself overall is key.

Also it is never too late to make the changes. There are many months in the year to start.